by: Greg Bear

Overall score: 6.8

Andy: harmonically tuned boner 7
Dunham: 5
Robert: engorged 8
Jarrod: racial memory 8
Jason: brown flappy 8
Crain: Waldo 6
Mark: gooey 5
Tony: 7
Tyler: 7

Hyperion

by: Dan Simmons

Ratings:

Dunham: peah fuzz 7
Cousin Pete: entropic 7
Aaron: i just saw her face 5
Tony: speculation 5-6
Tyler StP: get rid of your headache 5
Jason: moist 8
Tyler W: Mobius 4
Mark: thick 6
Jarrod: 8 fatline squirts
Robert: just missed the glands 7
Ryan O: pitched tent 8
Skalland: I don't modify 9

The Stars My Destination

by: Alfred Bester

Ratings:

Tyler 9
Jarrod 9
Jason 10
Aaron 8
Crain 9
Dunham 8
Skalland 7
Robert 10
Cousin Pete 8 

Planetfall

by: Emma Newman

Ratings:

Tyler 9
Jarrod 9
Jason 10
Aaron 8
Crain 9
Dunham 8
Skalland 7
Robert 10
Cousin Pete 8 

The Last Policeman

by: Ben H. Winters

Ratings, along with our preferred method of handling an impending asteroid collision with earth:

Robert: autoerotic esphesiated 6, paint
Aaron: double dick 7, bomb
Crain: dick painted white 5, bomb
Dunham 5, bomb, turgid penis
Jarrod: 7, lots of statistic, bomb
Tyler: 6, bomb
Tony: soft chub 5, bomb
Jason: after dark 7, paint American flag on asteroid
Andy: 7 micropenis with dildo strapped on to of it, paint
Cousin Pete: procedural 6
Skalland: 6  

Black Star Renegades

by Michael Moreci

SPECIAL EVENT: PKWD.T was blessed by the presence of the author for this event. All types of fun was had.

Special ratings:

Robert: sneaking off to the bathroom 10
Dunham: 10 8====D
Aaron: prebuecent 10
Tyler StP: ready for the sequel 10
Jason: errect robot extended super penis 10
Jarrod: 12 stories dick
Tyler W: trust me it's a 10

A Planet For Rent
YOSS

Selected by Tyler W

Dimension of Miracles
Robert Sheckley

Selected by Matt
Jarrod - 8
Jason - Enthusiastic 8
Cousin Pete - Pre-mature E 8
Tony - Stiff 8
Aaron - Escapist 8
Tyler W - 8
Bryan - 8
Matt - Great 8

Overall: 8's Across the Board

Starship Troopers
Robert A. Heinlein

Selected by Aaron
Ben - Mature 4
Dunham - "Fountainhead Troopers" No Genatalia 3
Tony - Limp 3
Tyler W - If You Measure From The Asshole 4
Cousin Pete - Pinch It Between Your Legs 4
Matt - Dusty's 4-inch Special 4
Jason - Poop Slapping The Balls 5
Jarrod - On The Bounce 4
Danny - Hard Dick Rocks 3
Aaron: Chaffing 5

Overall: Was the Movie Better Than The Book? 3.9

Zero K
Don DeLillo

Selected by Tyler StP
Ryan - Stranger 3
Jamie - Thin 3
Ben - Define 4
Jason - Fat 1, Asshole
Tyler W - Behold My 4
Jarrod - Dented, Plastic Cup 4
Aaron - Needle Dick 4
Tyler StP - Unsatisfactory Fart 5

Overall: Donny, You're Out of You're Element 3.5

Dawn
Octavia Butler

Selected by Jarrod
Jarrod - Hard Shrunken Unmoving Cold Shelled 3
Brian - Tentacular 8
Matt - Interspecies 6
Jason - Circumised Alien-Dicked 8
Tyler W - Appropriated 8
Padraig - Warm, Gooey, Hundred-Year-Nap-In-Plant-Pod 8
Tony - Sphincter 8
Aaron - Stockholm Syndrome 7
Joe P - Tenticular Clitoral 8
Jamie - Slimy 7
Cousin Pete - Toxoplasmosis 7
Tyler StP - Apparatus Assisted 7
Ben - Let's Eat 7

Overall: What's Jarrod's Deal? 7.1

More Than Human
Theodore Sturgeon

Selected by Ben
Tyler W - Prunish 5
Bryan - Modified-less 6
Tyler StP - After You Pee Morning Wood 7
Cousin Pete - Corner Piece Lincoln Log 4
Matt - More Than the Cum of its Farts 8
Jamie - Anti-Gravity Device 7
Jason - Take the Jizz Out 9
Padraig - Small Shaft w/ Big Head 6
Jarrod - Stunted and Ugly 9
Aaron - Disassociated 4
Ben - Dick in a Doorway 7

Overall: A High Highs and Low Lows 6.5

Angelmaker
Nick Harkaway

Selected by Pete
Matt - Cock-work 3
Ben - [redacted verbose] 5
Tyler StP - Soft 6
Aaron - Adolescent 8
Tyler W - PeaCOCK 5
Jason - Stumpy 4
Jarrod - Stuck-to-your-leg 6
Jamie - (submarine filling with seaweed and ice with one hole but then there's a smaller hole) 6
Cousin Pete - Steampunk Studded Dick 9

Overall: A Hearty, Vascularized 5.7

Foundation and Empire / Second Foundation
Isaac Asimov

Selected by Consensus

Ryan - Pointy 6/8
Cousin Pete - Stringy-Hairy Areolae 5/6
Ben - Ho-Hum 5
Bryan - Hot Double 7/7
Matt - Couple-Sterile 8/8
Tyler StP - Shameful INC
Jon - Gently Enlarging 6/7
Aaron - Pity Nostalgia 7/6
Jamie - Toothy 7/7
Jason - Strong Balls to Sphincter 7/7
Tony - Aight 6/6
Tyler W - Not My Type/Butterface/Not Present 7/7

Overall: The Mule Rises 6.4/6.9

Foundation
Isaac Asimov

Selected by Consensus

Aaron - Pre-cum 5
Tyler W - Taboo 8
Cousin Pete - Selfie 8
Jarrod - Nostalgic Pornography 7
Tyler StP - Pinched 6
Ryan - Charged 9
Ben - Asimovian 5
Jamie - Wenis 7
Graham - Hard 7 That Droops

Overall: Oft-abused 6.9
 

Diamond Dogs, Turquoise Days
Alastair Reynolds

Selected by Ryan

Jamie - Derogatory 5
Bryan - Escapist 7
Tony - Straight 7
Matt - Double-Pronged Dildo 6
Tyler W - Thorough 6
Jarrod - Cybernetically Reconstituted 8
Tyler StP - Diamond Dong 6
Jason - Hand-drawn Schlong 5
Ben - Severed 2
Cousin Pete - Wiggly 6
Ryan - Satisfying 6
Jon - Phantom Phallus 8

Overall: A Half-Mast 6

Station Eleven
Emily St. John Mandel

Selected by Jason

Aaron - Veiny 8
Matt - Elegant 5
Jon - Lugubrious 7
Ryan - Engorged 7
Bryan - 7 No Modifier
Ben - Lubricious 7
Tyler StP - Second-Time 7
Jamie - Confidently Above-Average 7
Tyler W - 7 By Comparison
Jason - Penis 8
Tony - Semi-hard 7
Jarrod - Glistening 8

Overall: An Apologetic 7.1

The Postmortal
Drew Magary

Selected by Aaron

Tyler W - Stiff 6
Matt - Grower Not Show-er 4
Bryan - Throwgasm 4
Jamie - Sex Cannon 6
Jarrod - Feels Right 4
Ryan - Lingering 5
Aaron - Ribbed 5
Jon - Super Bummer 6

Overall: Slippery When Wet 5

Use Of Weapons
Iain M. Banks

Selected by Tyler StP

Aaron - A Whiskey 7
Ryan - Poppin' 8
Jason - Turgid 8
Tyler W - Bashful 7
Matt - Blood-filled 8
Jamie - 8 Upon Reflection
Bryan - "Just The Tip" 6
Jarrod - An Unclear 8
Tyler StP - Anticipatory 8

Overall: Consistently Positive 7.6

The Cyberiad
Stanislaw Lem

Selected by Jamie

Bryan - 9
Matt - 6
Jarrod - 8
Jason - 8
Jamie - 8
Tyler W - 9
Dave - 7

Overall: 7.9

Falling Free
Lois McMaster Bujold

Selected by Bryan

Ben - 5
Bryan - 5
Matt - 6
Jarrod - 8
Jason - 6
Jamie - 5
Tyler StP - 6
Tyler W - 6
Tony - 6
Jon - 6
Andy - 7

Overall: 6

Would you bang a quaddie? - 10 Yay, 1 Nay

The Chronoliths
Robert Charles Wilson

Selected by Tyler W

Ben - 7
Bryan - 6
Matt - 5
Jarrod - 8
Jason - 7
Jon - 8
Graham - 6
Tyler StP - 7
Tyler W - 7
Tony - 7

Overall: 6.8

The Female Man
Joanna Russ

Selected by Jarrod

Bryan - 7
Tyler StP - 5
Jason - 8
Ben - 7
Jarrod 7

Overall: 6.8

Ships of Fools
Richard Paul Russo

Selected by Graham

Jason - Poo.5
Tyler W - 3
Graham - Limp 2

Overall: Weak Shit

Gateway
Frederik Pohl

Selected by Matt

Ben - 5
Bryan - 7
Jason - 6
Jon - 5
Matt - 7
Tyler StP - 6
Tyler W - 6
Tony - 3
Tom - 7

Overall: 5.8

Oryx And Crake
Margaret Atwood

Selected by Jon

Ben - 8
Bryan - 8
Matt - 8
Jarrod - 8
Jason - 7
Jamie - 7
Graham - 9
Jon - 9
Tom - 8

Overall: 8

Babel-17
Samuel R. Delany

Selected by Jason

Ben - 3
Tyler W - 8
Jon - 7
Matt - 6
Tom - 7

Overall: 6.2

The Man In The High Castle
Philip K. Dick

Selected by Tony

Ben - 5
Tyler W - 6
Jon - 8
Matt - 5

Overall: 6

Childhood's End
Arthur C. Clarke

Selected by Ben

Ben - 8
Tyler W - 7
Jon - 6
Matt - 7

Overall: 7

A Canticle For Leibowitz
Walter M. Miller Jr.

Selected by Tyler StP

Ben - 9
Matt - 7

Overall: 8

The Three-Body Problem
Cixin Liu

Selected by Bryan

Ben - 7
Tyler W - 8
Matt - 6

Overall: 7

The Final Reflection
John M. Ford

Selected by Matt

Tyler W - 2
Jon - 5
Matt - 5

Overall: 4

The Fifth Head Of Cerberus
Gene Wolfe

Selected by Graham

Ben - 9
Tyler W - 5
Matt - 7

Overall: 7

The Word For World Is Forest
Ursula K. Le Guin

Selected by Jarrod

Ben - 5
Tyler W - 6
Matt - 6

Overall: 5.7

Old Man's War
John Scalzi

Selected by Tyler W

Tyler W - 4
Matt - 4

Overall: 4

The Martian
Andy Weir

Selected by Jason

Ben - 7
Tyler W - 8
Matt - 7

Overall: 7.3